Alice Mabel Strutt Bray

This evening sitting in the lounge: Vi (daughter-in-law about her mother in law)

"She was difficult to live with... and she had good things about her too. For all she called you (looking at Glenn - her grandson) "The Brass Band" she made you overalls! I didn't sew then and I was pleased to have them."

"She was a very upset lady when she came to us. Her husband had just died. They (I haven't yet established who) burnt all her photo albums before they brought her to us. She was very upset about that. They didn't tell me they were bringing her to stay with us. They just brought her. I had Wally and Phyl's kids with me. Luckily they took their kids with them. I had to put her (Alice) in the room with Brenda. But she smoked so much, and would be up in the night and Brenda couldn't stand it. So we moved Brenda onto the verandah. Glenn and Brenda shared a room until they got older. Dennis later made a porch for Glenn to sleep in."

"She used to sit in the kitchen and knit and sew. I used to go in and say goodnight to her... I knew she just wanted to talk. She would talk and talk and I just listened. She asked me why I was praying. I was listening with my hands in a praying position. I just prayed that she would finish talking! I had heard the stories before. In the end I would say 'Well, I'm off to bed Mom'"

"If I had known better then, I would have been kinder to her. I ask forgiveness for how I treated her."

Henry Norman Bray

I found this in my cupboard whilst cleaning up.

Henry Norman Bray, Dennis' father, was a member of The Sons of England.

Alice Mabel Strutt Bray

Today over lunch: Vi (daughter-in-law of Alice) was sharing with us (Glenn (grandson of Alice)and me):

"We lived with her when we were married and Glenn was a little boy. She believed children should be seen and not heard. She called Glenn 'the brass band'. She had no patience with children. I used to take Glenn up to my parent's home, and Eddie would play with him until I finished my chores."

"She used to get up at about 12 noon. She used to go to bed at about 4am."

"She used to sit in the kitchen and knit socks for her boys. When we moved to Zambia she would send us parcels every now and again: sheets and more sheets... and socks for Dennis."

"She used to HATE her father. She was sure he had caused her mother to die. She died at 40. He used to beat her mother. He used to drink."

"She left home and lived with her grandfather (Vi couldn't remember which one). He was the only one that could talk some sense into her. He would go for a walk with her. He would talk with her "You have broken your grandmother's tea set in your temper. I cannot afford to replace it for her. Please THINK before you do something you regret when you get angry." Vi then went on to say "Red hair... you see! Red hair and a temper go together in some people..."

"She used to get mad when the children would come in and just take fruit and eat it. Wally (her son, brother of Dennis) stood up to her in his house. He told her to take her fruit out of the frig and just keep it wherever she wanted to! ...She got mad with our children too when she stayed with us. I kept a bowl of fruit just for the children. She didn't like that."

"She and Henry Norman Bray met and married in Durban. Later they moved to Krugersdorp."

Sad - a lot of this daughter-in-law remembering...

This Beginning

Dennis Norman Bray is my father-in-law. He is the second of three sons born to Henry Norman Bray and Alice Mabel Strutt Bray on 15th December 1920 in Krugersdorp, Transvaal, South Africa.

He married Violet Florence Clarke on 3rd January 1948.
Two children were born to this union:
Glenn Ted Bray on 17th April 1949 and
Brenda Joyce Bray on 5th July 1951.

He died on Saturday 25th August 2007.

He is missed still by his wife and children.

As I think of things to add to this record by me of him, I will add them.