Good afternoon to all of you- my name is John Holmes and I am married to Uncle Wally and Auntie Phyl’s niece, Brenda.
Maureen and Joan contacted me and asked me to address you all today. Well, how could I refuse? Two nicer cousins one couldn’t ask for and, although they thanked me for my trouble when I agreed, I need to tell them that it is not a problem for me but that it is indeed an honour and a privilege to speak about their Dad.
We are here today not only to mourn the loss of a loved one, fondly called Uncle Wally, but to celebrate the life he lived. I will talk about all the good things that impressed me so very much about Uncle Wally and his sidekick Auntie Phyl.
Auntie Phyl, Please accept that your immediate family and friends will carry you in their thoughts, blessings and prayers during this difficult time.
To all of you here today and especially to you, Auntie Phyl, I want you to know that I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain. The fact of the matter is that only time is a healer in these sad circumstances.
Uncle Wally’s full names were Walter Eric Bray- born on the 3rd October 1918 and he died peacefully (although after a long illness) at home on Monday 7th of February 2011.
He reached the age of 92 years and 3months , and he was married to Auntie Phyl for 68 years – Wow imagine that – they were married long before I was born (and believe me I am getting on –almost ready for pension I am)
I think they misunderstood the meaning of “three score years and ten” mentioned in the bible.. By all accounts, we are not supposed to be married that long, we are only supposed to live that long!
These two grand people certainly broke that mould!
Married for 68 years and the longer they were together the closer they became. In fact, they were so close that it may be said that they lived their lives as one. I never heard even a suggestion of an argument when we visited with them or were in their company and the deep respect and acceptance they had for each other was so tangible to me, and that always impressed me considerably.
Their respect for each other was carried over by them to their family and friends and never would they allow their own problems to be displayed.
From my point of view, I saw Uncle Wally as a bright, sharp, intelligent and deep person with a magical gift of saying the most appropriate things at the right time. He had this special gift he used so often and that was his very sharp and good sense of humour.
I enjoyed being in his company.
For those of you who may not know Uncle Wally’s immediate family, and by way of introduction, I will tell you that he is survived by Auntie Phyl and together they had three children- Maureen, Joan and the late Eddie.
Maureen is married to Ted and their children are Wayne and Natalie.
Natalie is married to Karel and they supplied Uncle Wally and Auntie Phyl with two Granddaughters and a Grandson.
Wayne and his partner, Ally makes up the entire and remainder of the Maureen and Ted’s immediate family.
Joan is married to that dashing gent over there- Graham
And their deceased son, Eddie, married Anne and gave them a Grandson, Warren. Anne and her son, Warren, now live in New Zealand.
At this time I would also ask you to commit Eddie’s memory to this gathering.
Eddie was a very special son to Uncle Wally and Auntie Phyl and when he died in New Zealand after tragically loosing his battle against cancer , they were not able to attend his funeral, due to circumstances here at the time. And it is for this reason that it would be fitting to just ask you all to observe a minutes silence in thinking about that tragic event and consider the anguish that Uncle Wally and Auntie Phyl must have endured at Ed’s passing when he was so far away in New Zealand
In memory of Eddie Bray their son, please reflect for a minute in silence.
THANK YOU
Uncle Wally had two brothers, both deceased- Dennis (My father in law) and Reg their younger brother who was killed in an automobile accident at a young age.
My mother in law, VI, is with us today having flown up from Johannesburg. I was asked by her to confirm the Great respect and fondness these two brothers had for each other. In particular Dennis had a constant hankering to be with his brother Wally and grabbed every opportunity to see him and Phyl when ever one presented itself. Vi sees herself as Dennis’s representative of that special bond between the brothers. Wally will be sadly missed and always fondly remembered.
And then there are a niece, Brenda (My wife) and a nephew, Glenn, my brother in law, who is married to Judy.
And there you have it. You all now know the family
Should I have failed to mention anyone please forgive me.
About Uncle Wally Then: To me-
He was a man that loved the outdoors and would have gladly spent his whole life in the darkest of African bush with his trusty side kick (Auntie Phyl) and his family. He loved fishing and went to great trouble to prepare for fishing, boating and camping expeditions.
He utilised his mind by spending ages repairing, re-constructing and re-inventing parts for the vehicles, boats and all the other equipment that goes hand in hand with the outdoor life style. He was innovative in his work shop and he had the mechanical ability to fix anything that was broken. He would spend hours in the workshop on, what some of us saw as a lost cause, and eventually he would resolve the problem.
He was an accomplished musician and played quite a few instruments I believe. Ted tells us of the wonderful times spent at gatherings where they all sat down and made music together. I was never fortunate enough to experience any of these occasions but I can imagine the joy for all in his presence at these times.
I also know that he was always whistling his favourite songs and tunes quietly to himself and the joy he received from his music was good to see.
He was a keen Golfer and I had the privilege of playing a few rounds with him and I tell you–he knew the rules pretty well and would let you know pretty quickly if you grounded your club in a bunker or break any rule that was in the royal and ancient golf rule book. At the same time he sorted out a few of my very serious shots with the advice of some one who had thought about that particular problem in great depth. I will always be grateful to him for treating us so well and for the happiness and fondness he showed my family.
My wife has often told me stories of her Childhood and the times that stand out most for her are those happy times when they went camping with Uncle Wally, Auntie Phyl and her cousins. Brenda also remembers the fondness, care and fun they all enjoyed in the company of Uncle Wally when they visited him and he used to play the kiddie games such as hide and seek with them. All of these are good memories that will be cherished.
Brenda wanted me to reveal to us all that her Uncle Wally will always have a special place in her heart and he will be sorely missed by her and his loving memory will remain with her for ever.
My Son, Craig, and daughter –in –law, Roxane, will also always remember the special occasion at their wedding reception when Uncle Wally and Auntie Phyl took to the dance floor. Uncle Wally was 90 years old at the time. This memory will be in their lives for a very long time. They have the photos and hold on to them fondly.
Before I go ahead with my tribute to Uncle Wally I must thank two family friends and who I only met on Monday.
Janet and Sharon thank you for being there for Auntie Phyl on Monday and supporting her while Maureen was rushing back from her trip to the berg.
By the time I arrived these two ladies were totally in control of the situation and the support and care that they exercised the entire day is deeply appreciated by the family. I want them both to please accept our heart felt gratitude.
I think it is only fitting to thank the caregivers that were looking after Uncle Wally and tell them that the family really appreciate their efforts and kindness during their service to the family.
So from all of us here today a big thank you to, Promise, Fortunate, Gertrude and Thuli.
And then... Maureen, I know that you will be blessed beyond words for the care and love you have shown your Mom and Dad. You have responded to their every need. You have been the personal aide and confidante and always available to them to help with any situation that developed. Thank You to you and Ted for being available and for all you have done.
Joan and Graham –thank you for the way you brought joy and happiness to your folks by involving them in the many trips you arranged and included them, I know they enjoyed the time spent with you a lot.
I would then like to read the following poem which I came across on the internet and which I believe is a fitting tribute to Uncle Wally- this Husband, Father, Grandfather, Uncle and friend to us all.
I turn my head and look towards death now
Feeling my way through the tunnel with the space of emptiness and quite
The shimmering silence that awaits me.
This is my direction now; inward to the green pastures
The cares of the world concern me no longer.
I have completed this life. My work is done, my children grown.
My wife is well on her life’s journey.
I have loved much and well….
Those I leave behind, I love .
I hope I will remain in their hearts as they will in mine..
Thank you for taking such good care of me…
And all of you have been such good friends, thank you for teaching me about love.
Auntie Phyl, Maureen and Joan, family and friends, I would then end my tribute to Uncle Wally with a blessing that fits him like a glove:
Dear Uncle Wally-
May the sound of happy and sweet music
And the lilt of good laughter
Fill your heart with gladness
That stays for ever after.
God Bless you, Uncle Wally
I then received by e-mail the following letter which I will now read unedited and as it was received.
It is from Uncle Wally’s nephew, Glenn Bray (my brother –in law)
Read Glenn’s letter.............
And now I would ask Jaydene and Taylor to please come forward and read the letters that were received.
These are the Two Grand daughters of Uncle Wally and Auntie Phil I mentioned earlier.
Dennis, Vi, Phyl and Wally photographed in Amanzintoti in 2005.
and this book. I wonder how much it was used for family readings?
They are going to go "the way of all things I can't fit into my house any more... the Charity Shop", unless someone wants to claim them as a keepsake? I will keep them until June.